Very nice, Peachy. Last week my family surrounded my 80 year old mom (stage 4 cancer) for her final days. A strong, devoted Catholic. I was her POA and we entered hospice and w/ company of family, friends, prayer, song and good pain meds - she passed over in about 1 week. It was a good and natural death. And many of her younger nephews and nieces and their children came to ‘see’ and say goodbye. We set up a card table in her room to play cribbage and ‘normalize’ the atmosphere for the young ones experiencing this arc of life for the 1st time. Death is not to be feared. Now I have to write the obituary for this amazing woman. But then I’m also looking forward to reading of rosary, and funeral mass where we will sing ‘I Am the Bread of Life’ among other nostalgic Catholic hymns.
Well done, Peachy! I am probably a great deal closer to death than you (hopefully), so I have done what you recommend in this article: I have reconciled myself with estranged friends and family, I have a "Farm List" (as in "bought the farm") laying out points of contact for insurance, the VA for reporting, where all the savings are kept, and the list of people I'd recommend calling for my funeral. I'll miss my children and my wife, but I've done what I can to make my passing as easy as I can for them.
I have renewed my faith and am up to date with the sacraments, so as much as anyone can be, I'm ready to "step off". I'm looking forward to seeing Our Lord, his Blessed Mother and all the friends, still in their 20s, who I left behind me in Vietnam.
Eight years ago, my wife died holding my hand as she went into the presence of the Lord. Holding her hand was of inestimable value and comfort for both her and me. Your essay is truth, beautifully expressed.
My mother lost her mother when she was only 10 years old. When she passed in 2017, I had had her in my life for 52 years. When folks offered their condolences I smiled and said,”I’ve had her all of my life, now she can be with HER mother.” I feel that way to this day. Dying is a part of living, live well and die well.
My mom had the same situation. Her mom died when she was 12. My mom died when I was 46 and she was 80. I knew she missed her mom her whole life and so I was happy to know she would be reunited with her.
It’s not my own death that I fear but rather the death of my loved ones and, most particularly, my dogs. A little mutt that I had for 17 years died and it was, frankly, more painful than the death of my father. I’m in a race with my current four to see who checks out first. In some ways it’s a race I hope I lose. To those who love dogs no explanation is needed. To those who don’t, no explanation will suffice.
I've lost two dogs since last July. I prayed that I would outlive them all because these were all dumped dogs. So who would take care of them if not me? I buried the first one and marked his grave. The second I never found. Got two left. Hope they live for many more years.
One of the great benefits of being a surgeon is you tend to treasure every healthy day. I am very thankful for my wonderful life and only fear suffering (which is unnecessary and avoidable) not death. I have had a great run!!
You underrate dying with your boots on and don’t seem to understand the valuable role of all cemetaries in honoring the good in the dead and teaching the lessons of history. Bad news given your article. You are an immortal child of God. You also have been Wofe prompted on Franklin. Those kids —virtually none of whom owned slaves —were not fighting for slavery but the same old reasons —friends and home. Slavery an ancient evil but see Herodotus (“What better reason to die than this —fighting for the ashes of my fathers and the temples of my gods). Enjoy your postings.
Good advice. After my dad died nearly 20 years ago, and feeling his spirit several times on that day, I made a deep dive into exploring what happens when we die – and after talking with a few people who had near death experiences, I’ve concluded it’s all good and there is nothing to fear.
Once the fear of death is gone, we can be free from most any other fear and live our lives fearlessly and courageously. But, I do think it helps to keep the “God-Go Pro” charged up and wear it every day, remembering, God is watching over us and sees everything.
"When the end comes for me (hopefully not for many decades), I just hope I remember that although I may wish it was not yet my time, it is the price I agreed to pay for a gift I tried every day to deserve."
Your piece reminded me of one of my favorite quotes. It's from John Taylor Gatto in Underground history of American Education:
"Nothing in this world is more than illusion. This is only a stage on some longer journey we do not fully understand. A 94 year-old aunt of mine with a Ph.D. from the University of Chicago, said to me tearfully after the death of her husband, 'They don’t let you win. There is no way to win.'
She had lived her life in the camp of science, honorably observing all its rules of rationality, but at his passing, science was useless to her. The Western spiritual tradition would reply, 'Of course you can win. Everyone can win. And if you think you can’t, then you’re playing the wrong game.' The only thing that gives our time on earth any deep significance is that none of this will last. If you were indestructible, what a curse! How could it possibly matter whether you did anything today or next year or in the next hundred years, learned anything, loved anybody? There would always be time for anything and everything"... and nothing.
The modern world is built on "playing the wrong game". He who dies with he most toys... still dies. Life only has meaning because it's transitory.
As a side note: I don't fear death, but honestly, I do fear dying a little -- the process not the end result. This may sound weird to some people, but I hope to do it well.
I agree with your last sentence. Death itself is not the problem. It is the hardship on the dying and those who care for him or her. Sometimes it can be excruciatingly long and miserable.
It is important to note in this discussion that there is no scientific advance on the horizon that can truly provide immortality. The biohackers, even if they develop techniques to extend their lives by centuries, are no more capable of becoming immortal than you or I. At some point in the future, they too shall despite their best efforts stand before the judgement of God. Perhaps the more interesting question would be to ask what human society would become if man had the lifespan of a Galapagos tortoise or a Greenland shark. It is also quite anomalous that in our own society most deaths are due to old age, rather than to war, accident or disease. Throughout most of human history, this was certainly not the case. For this reason, I find it essential that we as a civilization embark on inherently risky endeavors. Perhaps the conquest of space would be a good first one.
Very nice, Peachy. Last week my family surrounded my 80 year old mom (stage 4 cancer) for her final days. A strong, devoted Catholic. I was her POA and we entered hospice and w/ company of family, friends, prayer, song and good pain meds - she passed over in about 1 week. It was a good and natural death. And many of her younger nephews and nieces and their children came to ‘see’ and say goodbye. We set up a card table in her room to play cribbage and ‘normalize’ the atmosphere for the young ones experiencing this arc of life for the 1st time. Death is not to be feared. Now I have to write the obituary for this amazing woman. But then I’m also looking forward to reading of rosary, and funeral mass where we will sing ‘I Am the Bread of Life’ among other nostalgic Catholic hymns.
Wow, my condolences for the loss of such an amazing woman. My prayers go out to you and your family. Thank you for sharing.
Well done, Peachy! I am probably a great deal closer to death than you (hopefully), so I have done what you recommend in this article: I have reconciled myself with estranged friends and family, I have a "Farm List" (as in "bought the farm") laying out points of contact for insurance, the VA for reporting, where all the savings are kept, and the list of people I'd recommend calling for my funeral. I'll miss my children and my wife, but I've done what I can to make my passing as easy as I can for them.
I have renewed my faith and am up to date with the sacraments, so as much as anyone can be, I'm ready to "step off". I'm looking forward to seeing Our Lord, his Blessed Mother and all the friends, still in their 20s, who I left behind me in Vietnam.
Eight years ago, my wife died holding my hand as she went into the presence of the Lord. Holding her hand was of inestimable value and comfort for both her and me. Your essay is truth, beautifully expressed.
Beautiful.
Great piece. One thing to add... Ladies... Please do not reach to 'preservatives' like Botox, etc. You will be naturally beautiful your whole life.
I know several over-40 yr old women who grew uglier with the use of these things. It has psychologically damaged them and it is horrible.
Be your beautiful selves! My muse of 32 years has had some menopausal issues with slight weight gain, but she is still absolutely beautiful.
My mother lost her mother when she was only 10 years old. When she passed in 2017, I had had her in my life for 52 years. When folks offered their condolences I smiled and said,”I’ve had her all of my life, now she can be with HER mother.” I feel that way to this day. Dying is a part of living, live well and die well.
My mom had the same situation. Her mom died when she was 12. My mom died when I was 46 and she was 80. I knew she missed her mom her whole life and so I was happy to know she would be reunited with her.
It’s not my own death that I fear but rather the death of my loved ones and, most particularly, my dogs. A little mutt that I had for 17 years died and it was, frankly, more painful than the death of my father. I’m in a race with my current four to see who checks out first. In some ways it’s a race I hope I lose. To those who love dogs no explanation is needed. To those who don’t, no explanation will suffice.
I've lost two dogs since last July. I prayed that I would outlive them all because these were all dumped dogs. So who would take care of them if not me? I buried the first one and marked his grave. The second I never found. Got two left. Hope they live for many more years.
One of the great benefits of being a surgeon is you tend to treasure every healthy day. I am very thankful for my wonderful life and only fear suffering (which is unnecessary and avoidable) not death. I have had a great run!!
You underrate dying with your boots on and don’t seem to understand the valuable role of all cemetaries in honoring the good in the dead and teaching the lessons of history. Bad news given your article. You are an immortal child of God. You also have been Wofe prompted on Franklin. Those kids —virtually none of whom owned slaves —were not fighting for slavery but the same old reasons —friends and home. Slavery an ancient evil but see Herodotus (“What better reason to die than this —fighting for the ashes of my fathers and the temples of my gods). Enjoy your postings.
Good advice. After my dad died nearly 20 years ago, and feeling his spirit several times on that day, I made a deep dive into exploring what happens when we die – and after talking with a few people who had near death experiences, I’ve concluded it’s all good and there is nothing to fear.
Once the fear of death is gone, we can be free from most any other fear and live our lives fearlessly and courageously. But, I do think it helps to keep the “God-Go Pro” charged up and wear it every day, remembering, God is watching over us and sees everything.
"When the end comes for me (hopefully not for many decades), I just hope I remember that although I may wish it was not yet my time, it is the price I agreed to pay for a gift I tried every day to deserve."
Admirable stuff, that.
Your piece reminded me of one of my favorite quotes. It's from John Taylor Gatto in Underground history of American Education:
"Nothing in this world is more than illusion. This is only a stage on some longer journey we do not fully understand. A 94 year-old aunt of mine with a Ph.D. from the University of Chicago, said to me tearfully after the death of her husband, 'They don’t let you win. There is no way to win.'
She had lived her life in the camp of science, honorably observing all its rules of rationality, but at his passing, science was useless to her. The Western spiritual tradition would reply, 'Of course you can win. Everyone can win. And if you think you can’t, then you’re playing the wrong game.' The only thing that gives our time on earth any deep significance is that none of this will last. If you were indestructible, what a curse! How could it possibly matter whether you did anything today or next year or in the next hundred years, learned anything, loved anybody? There would always be time for anything and everything"... and nothing.
The modern world is built on "playing the wrong game". He who dies with he most toys... still dies. Life only has meaning because it's transitory.
As a side note: I don't fear death, but honestly, I do fear dying a little -- the process not the end result. This may sound weird to some people, but I hope to do it well.
I agree with your last sentence. Death itself is not the problem. It is the hardship on the dying and those who care for him or her. Sometimes it can be excruciatingly long and miserable.
It is important to note in this discussion that there is no scientific advance on the horizon that can truly provide immortality. The biohackers, even if they develop techniques to extend their lives by centuries, are no more capable of becoming immortal than you or I. At some point in the future, they too shall despite their best efforts stand before the judgement of God. Perhaps the more interesting question would be to ask what human society would become if man had the lifespan of a Galapagos tortoise or a Greenland shark. It is also quite anomalous that in our own society most deaths are due to old age, rather than to war, accident or disease. Throughout most of human history, this was certainly not the case. For this reason, I find it essential that we as a civilization embark on inherently risky endeavors. Perhaps the conquest of space would be a good first one.
Well written. Thank you
I hope you die, too! That's gonna be one of my casual greetings from now on.
Well written, as usual.
😆
LOL. Love it!
Simply excellent. Thank you.
liked 👍