Keep Music Free – of Grubby Politics

Good luck, babe: Lana, Taylor, and Chappell Get Caught in Election-Year Battle Royale

Chappell Roan, the new Miss Americana

The compulsive need to require your favorite artists to endorse a candidate is something only liberals and dorks do. It is deeply uncool.

Artists who endorse someone are, usually, not cool themselves.

But before we get into that, in related news: a lot happened this week in the female pop singer universe.

First, congratulations to the Queen of Our Hearts. After at least two engagements we know about and a handful of unforgivable cads who broke her heart, Lana Del Rey is now married.

She said yes to the mess: a brand-new boyfriend who likes to canoe through swamps and kiss alligators. He’s in his 50s, divorced, two kids—which means it’s true love.

When you know, you know.

Maybe this is the answer to all the unmarried millennial women: find you a geriatric Gen Xer who looks at you like he looks at his favorite alligator. To your ancient outdoorsman with stage four skin cancer, you’ll always be young and beautiful!

I just hope she gets him on her health insurance plan soon; his tanned hide looks like a likely candidate for melanoma.

They got married in a tent right at his boat ramp in the bayou. The bride wore a wedding dress she picked up in a thrift shop.

Congratulations to the happy couple!

Apparently he only owns one sweatshirt. Swoon!

Mr. Del Rey Gets Eaten By Alligators

But of course, dirty politics threatens to dampen the honeymoon heat.

Lana, who got into trouble a few years ago when she was accused of being a racist (for not having enough black women on her own album cover lol), is now contending with butthurt fans who think Mr. Del Rey is an anti-vaxxer and Covid truther.

And if he’s anti-vax mandates, you know what that means, don’t you? It means a sunbroiled bayou man in Louisiana might be voting for Trump: