Habemus Hope

On our new Pope, recovering from FDS*, and the need for a New Crusade.

(Courtesy NYT)

As soon as the former Robert Prevost appeared on the screen be-robed in gleaming pope regalia, my Catholic group chats lit up. People were trading tidbits of his bio and it was mostly rumors—and bad news.

He was favored by execrable libs like Cardinal Cupich! He posted on X criticizing J.D. Vance about immigration policies! He’d been less than forthcoming about some other priest’s sexual abuse! Did he have McCarrick connections?

Oh no! Had our greatest fears been realized and a Francis 2.0 been elected to continue hacking away at the Church and its traditions?

In the States, demoralized trads had been clinging to the sheer cliffs of their faith as Francis stomped above, hurling rocks down at us, cursing at us in Italian, hoping we’d finally succumb to his forced awokening of the Vatican.

On TV, I beheld the sulphuric supervillain Cardinal Wuerl grinning like a cat on Saint Peter’s Square and my heart sank.

If Wuerl (who had helped cover up for his old pal Ted McCarrick) is happy, I certainly wouldn’t be.

I wondered if Leo would be one more twist of the knife in the belly of the American trads.

As I watched the proceedings on X, I could feel my FDS* flaring up. Oh no. Not again.

I was NGMI.

All I knew was: I wasn’t going back. I just wanted the Pope to be a Pope and not a globalist stooge, is that so wrong?

I didn’t endure nine months of RCIA at my boomer parish, and a long conversion process, to have to contend with yet another cringe politician in white robes:

You can tell a lot about a person by who their friends are.

It had been all of ten minutes. Perhaps I needed to be patient. Patience was a virtue, and I needed as many as I could get.

Then, I started to move from “It’s never been more over” to “we’re so back.”

Breaking news: I LIKE THE NEW POPE!

The Young Pope.

Folks: I actually think we might be back.

*Francis Derangement Syndrome