Do Not Have Babies (If You're a Feminist)

A radical proposal to save the world.

Natalism for Me, but Not for Thee

Most of you probably think of me as a natalism absolutist. That is, you may assume I want EVERYONE to reproduce in large numbers. That I want ALL women, of all kinds, to have large families with many babies.

After all, I wrote a whole entire book about how the only way to save the world is for more people, a lot more, to procure suitable spouses and spawn. Did you read it yet?

If you did, you may recall that I included a slight update on God’s wise dictate to be fruitful and multiply:

I do not suggest parenthood to people who are not suited for it. Deranged progressives, for example, seem to have chosen childlessness, and who am I to argue? I reluctantly agree with the life choice they’ve made. Anyway, they’ve made their twin bed; now they must lie in it. They’ve chosen self-sterilization. We should calmly accept the terms of their genetic surrender and not high-five each other until they are out of sight.

If the child-haters wish to go extinct, I say we let them. Never interrupt your enemy when she is making a mistake!

I concede that not everyone needs to have kids. Most of the people on the kid-free diet are dug in too deep to be helped. They are well beyond even my power to rebuild them into plausible maternal figures. You, your genes, everything you ever did, and everything you ever were will vanish like a fart in the wind, and there’s nothing I can do to help you avoid that tragic fate.

I stand by this somewhat bleak sentiment. Liberal men and feminist women should absolutely not be encouraged to familymax.

They are already barely able to deal with their own biological fertility. “Motherhood” is off-brand for a liberal feminist. It’s a betraytal of your allegiance to the sisterhood and heavily cishetero-coded.

Oh no, not another dreaded “norm”

They should continue leaning in to the narcissistic “We’re DINKS; we have pets, not kids” lifestyle. These people are largely correct when they decide not to impose themselves on young children. These abortion-shouters, these proud nasty women, these polyamory lovers, these traditional marriage doubters, these committed leftwing political activists, these AWFLs—these are the women we want raising the next generation??

Hard pass.

Ladies, I hereby liberate you from the pressure of marrying and breeding. You are free to freeze all your eggs and keep them on ice forever. Enjoy never being punished with a baby. Lean in to your career and your me-time. No more wall to hit. No body count to limit. Just you, living your best life, unencumbered, unbothered, in your lane.

Not the carpool lane, though!

Leave the Natalism to Us, Munchause Mommies!