Decolonize This
These are Not Pro-Palestine Marches. They are Victory Parades.
I hadn’t heard the word “colonizer” in a long time until Hamas did their October 7th liquidation of Israeli villagers.
Now it’s everywhere! It’s at every Hamas victory parade (they call them pro-Palestine rallies lol). On every sign.
A professor at Stanford decided to play a “guess the Colonizer” game for his students:
…the teacher then went around separating students in the classes out as either a “colonizer” or “colonized,” depending on where they said they were from.
I can’t help it, when I hear the word “colonize” I keep remembering that I am overdue for a colonoscopy. I have to schedule a “decolonization,” if you know what I mean.
“White supremacist” is over and the new, more correct term for you just dropped: colonizer (synonym: settler.)
But hang on a second! I just spent a week watching massive rallies all over the United States of people who came to this country recently and settled here. Doesn’t that mean they are the colonizers? If you settled here recently, aren’t you a settler?
If my ancestors settled in California many decades ago, does that mean that the hordes of new arrivals are colonizers? It’s so confusing.
Time to do some colonizer math!
Here’s how you find out if you are a colonizer or colonize-ee.
Figure out where you’re really from and how many years ago you or your ancestors left that place.
Multiply the number by how racist you are.
Divide by number of BLM flags on your front lawn.
Multiply by the number of times you voted for Donald Trump.
Do you own a keffiyeh? Y/N
If 5 = no, then = you are a colonizer!
Colonial Times
These new American colonists live in tight-knit, closed colonies like Dearborn, Michigan and Hamtramck, Detroit, Minnesota, Detroit, Los Angeles, Chicago, New York and at every university.
They don’t wear cute tricorner hats or have buckles on their shoes. But you can pick the colonists out easily — they’re the ones tearing down signs with photos of Israeli hostages and sending their daughters to illegal FGM clinics in Michigan.
I’m happy to declare that the original colonizers around here (formerly known as “patriotic Americans”) have now become the colonized. The energetic and youthful new arrivals are firmly in charge. As 50 Cent predicted, hate it or love it, the underdog’s on top. (And I'm gon' shine, homie, until my heart stop.)
But don’t worry, Heritage Boomer: This is good news. Your whiteness has been decentered. Your white fragility has been discovered and is being exploited as we speak.
Turns out your soft underbelly was your dumb faith in meritocracy, colorblind justice, and one country under God. Sucker!
As you can see from the news, it is you who has been colonized. Maybe you figured this out on your own already, because you live in a border state or a big city. Or maybe you figured it out watching the news this week.
I’m relieved, frankly. I can no longer be accused of “colonizing” the United States or “stealing” it from indigenous tribes. I am no longer guilty of “settler bias.”
My evil settler ancestors started colonizing this place in the early 20th century.
Where will my children have to sail off to when they run from the NYU colonizers bent on pogroms?
(Nowhere. There is nowhere left to go).
Islamic Terrorism is Evil — and R*tarded
For years after 9/11 I waited for the other shoe to drop. They said it was coming, and I waited, and worried. I worried about dirty bombs, riding subways in New York, and flying on planes. When they’d shut and lock the newly bulletproofed cockpit doors before takeoff, you’d think about how you were sealed inside a cabin with, maybe, another Mohammed Atta and another squad of retarded box cutter owners.
I watched MEMRI, read Daniel Pipes, AllahPundit, and the other neocons who were constantly warning about terror attacks on the U.S.
Then… I forgot about it. Got married. Had kids. Had more kids. No one blew me up. I never heard anyone ululate. Was never culturally enriched by men screaming Allahu Akbar as they mowed me down in their ISIS van.
Instead, I moved on to other fears. Like a government that started to talk about people on the right as The Real Terrorists. Schools that wanted to chop little boy’s penises off. Big city mayors that let felons and lunatics run wild.
But the existence of fanatic HAMAS terror cells at UCLA and Los Angeles—that had not occurred to us, dude.
This week in Los Angeles, “pro-Palestinian” rally attendees chased and beat people holding an Israeli flag.
They are cheering for the death and torture of these children.
Pogroms are back on the menu, boys!
A few days ago, UCLA hosted a “pro-Palestinian” rally on campus. Thousands of kids were there.
Screaming young women in hijabs and keffiyeh in London and New York and Paris and Harvard and Stanford and University of Wisconsin and Columbia University tell journalists, on camera, that everything Hamas did was justified.
These are the rallies in support of the long-suffering Palestinians who long to throw off the yoke of their Hamas overlords?
(I have yet to see any of these Hamas-hating people in any news story, but I’m sure they’re out there.)
The unfortunate realization dawned on sane people that oops, there are thousands, millions, of American citizens and new arrivals who vocally support every single thing Hamas did—and think it didn’t go far enough.
As Michelle Obama would say “there’s still more work to do.”
Look, I don’t like hippies and ravers who dance at all night music festivals either, but I don’t want to hurt any of them.
Queers for Palestine. Jews for Palestine. BLM for Palestine. Harvard for Palestine. The entire media and university establishment for Palestine.
It’s clear that this is a case of the enemy of the enemy is my friend. Every faction on the Left is now in lockstep (er, goose step?) against Israel, the West, and the United States.
The other shoe has dropped like a ton of bricks.
But that’s okay. The tree of moral clarity has been watered by the blood of innocents. May we never lose it again.
Pray for the hostages and their families. Pray for peace!
—Peachy
The funniest part is that in US and Europe, the people most screaming about "colonizers" are themselves literal colonizers. That's the story that has to flip. No, it's not the white colonizers from 100+ years ago who no longer exist, it's the third world masses who are actively colonizing the West. The difference is the white colonizers brought modernity to the third-world, and the new colonizers are simply parasites who contribute nothing. Oh, except for food carts. What would we do without the food carts?
The irony is that two greatest imperial colonizers in the history of mankind are the Muslims and the Chinese. Islam was spread at the point of sword, with only the Indonesians converting peaceably over several centuries, and everyone else either being forced to convert, put to death, sold into slavery, or driven out, in the past 1500 years. The Chinese wrote the book on colonizing others peoples, with over 3,000 years of experience. They were invading and colonizing others when the progenitors of everyone reading this were living in mud huts trying to figure out where their next meal was coming from and trying not to get eaten themselves.
You are correct: we are being colonized by some of the worst people imaginable, who have nothing in common with us and have very different cultural and religious values, all of which are inconsistent with our own. A minority of them will change but, as you can see all of Europe with their very large self-imposed no-go zone ghettos, we are just behind them.
Danny Huckabee