Dear Peachy —Issue #2

Raising theybys, inheritance struggles, Lana lyrics, marriage ultimatums, gender minefields at the nanny share, and more!

Reading my mail while I prepare wholesome meals for the fam

My mailbag this week was bulging like Lia Thomas’s Speedo. Thank you to all who submitted a request for advice! If yours doesn’t appear this week, it may be answered in an upcoming column.

Before we get to the advice, a quick update:

1. My new book, Domestic Extremist, comes out in 45 days, on June 6th! To celebrate, Regnery is hosting a giveaway on Goodreads where you can enter to win a free hardcover copy.

2. If you want to get your copy as soon as it’s available, you can pre-order the hardcover or Kindle version right now at the above link.

3. Very soon, there will also be an AUDIO version of the book available. I am going into a studio in an undisclosed, top secret location to record it soon.

4. I almost died doing hot yoga recently, but that’s a tale for another post!

And now, without further delay, a little advice!

My operators are standing by to take your calls. I got them working in shifts!

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DEAR PEACHY

April 23, 2023

Note: All submissions were submitted anonymously through this Google form. Use it to submit your own request! I tried to fit the most I could into this week’s column—if yours didn’t make it in, check back next week!

Dear Peachy,

I absolutely love your work and deeply respect your values and intellect. My problem is that there are a goodly number of other independent journalists in this same category, and thanks to Substack, I can read their work independent of corporate publishers. However, I can't afford $50-60 dollars a year for a single writer. But I feel very guilty not paying for your work. Thank you for being a voice of sanity in an increasingly insane world.

—Old Dude, Fixed income, North Carolina

Dear Dude,

Flattery will get you everywhere. Please enjoy a free one-year subscription, with my compliments. Just reply to this email and I’ll send it your way!

—Peachy

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Dear Peachy,

Our four-year-old son is in a nanny share at another family’s house while we work. Recently I noticed that the other family has started stocking their bookshelf with a lot of books about gender diversity and nonconformity. I don’t want to blow up our childcare situation (you know how hard it is to find) but I don’t want them trying to convince my son he’s a girl either. What should I do?

—Cis Mom in Cisalpine Gaul

Dear Cis,

I try to carefully vet the places my children spend a lot of time: schools, summer camps, and, yes, other families. Especially other families. Hell is other children—and their parents. I don’t need all my hard work unraveled by one oversharing New Age Wiccan mom who wants to enlighten my four-year-old daughter, in graphic terms, exactly how babies are made and how they are born. This happened at a playdate when I wasn’t there.

If they have these dumb books on their shelves, they have these dumb beliefs in their heads and will be closely monitoring your son for signs he is a candidate for ritual castration. In many states, new laws now allow the State to legally kidnap children if their parents don’t “affirm” a new gender.

Keep the kid far away from your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Stasi, or risk disaster. Hire a trustworthy sitter.

—Peachy

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Dear Peachy, 

Back in the beforetimes, I received a fabulous mixture of opportunity, skill and luck that allowed my talents to generate a tremendous amount of wealth. Now I’m updating my will and I need to determine how much I should leave to my seven kids, since I plan on giving away the rest before I die. How much would you leave them, and under what terms?

—A Gen X Success

Dear Success,

Woke idiots like Ashton Kutscher and despicable Epstein ally Bill Gates have started a horrible new trend: virtue-signaling parents who announce that they are giving away their fortunes to charities instead of leaving it to their kids, so they don’t “spoil” them.