RIP Our Age of Bronze
I went in with a totally open mind, hoping for some old school movie entertainment. All those slobbering reviews, all the praise, how bad could it actually be?
Surprise: Bad. Shockingly, laughably bad.
And not because it was “woke.” That was, at worst, a minor nuisance.
No - it was bad for old-school movie reasons: atrocious writing. Some of the worst acting ever committed to the screen. Stilted dialogue. Inert. Even the “action” scenes were boring, clumsy. It had no narrative thread, zero tension, and worst crime of all, no characters to root for. Matt Damon and a bunch of NPCs you never get to know. Aw, his men got munched by another monster? Who cares!
They make Menalaus into an awful abusive husband -except they undercut his terrible character with his choice of wife. He may be a terrible guy, but he’s really cool about interracial romance- in fact he worships black women.
Why the bizarre wooden line delivery? It was like they were all on heavy anti-depressants…
